


Roman, Come Down

by Ispotate



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Behavior, Dialogue Heavy, Everyone Needs A Hug, Helpful Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Implied Relationships, Multi, References to Depression, Sad Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28384554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ispotate/pseuds/Ispotate
Summary: "Today of all daysSeeHow the most dangerous thing is to loveHow you will heal and you'll rise aboveCrowned by an overture bold and beyondAh, it's more courageous to overcome"-"Achilles Come Down" by Gang Of Youths
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Roman, Come Down

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: heavy implication of depression, suicidal ideation, near suicide attempt (but not graphic)  
> This does have a happy or at least positive open ending depending on the interpretation.
> 
> This was for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange 2020, and more specifically for Issy or @sparrow-flies-south! They requested anaroceit, but I ended up making this more about the creativitwins with heavy emphasis on anaroceit, so I hope you don't mind!!

A call echoes out from the dark forest full of twisted branches and shadowy creatures. "Roman! Rooo~man!" Remus called out,getting silence in return.   
The Duke had finally gotten tired of lounging around the Mind Palace and leaving his brother alone to sulk. "God, Roman. I think you shoulda sulked in your half this suuuucks." Masking his concern with nonchalance was more difficult than stuffing bad bananas in someone's cardigan.   
The main reason that Remus was (worried) annoyed was the fact Roman was here in the first place. It was too gross for the widdle light sides. It was mainly due to The Pact that no one went to the other's side of the Imagination, and therefore the twins only knew their side of the imagination.   
Sure, Remus would cause havoc in Romans kingdom occasionally and sure, Roman would heroically slay monsters in the Dukes realm. Didn't mean the would work together or something.   
Tripping over another branch for the fourth time Remus curses out. "Goddamn son of an octopus filled with-… leeches?" He sighs aggressively. "Ya know I would've been able to come up with better ideas like three weeks ago." Just when little Virgin got some balls~ The Duke snickered to himself as he finally got to the dark castle of his base.   
Remus stopped short when he saw a peculiar shadow on the ground. Looking up quickly The Duke stared for a few seconds, not comprehending what he was seeing. "Roman?!"

'Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down, won't you get up off, get up off the roof?' 

"Roman what in the krakens Crack are you doing?!" The Duke screamed towards the roof. There, the lone figure of the Prince stood, white clothes a stark contrast to the quickly darkening sky. Roman said nothing, continuing to stare down at his twin. Unnerved (and Remus was never unnerved), Remus slowly approached the castle trying to call out once again. "Roman!"  
After a few more (years) seconds of silence the Duke heard his brother call out. "What do you want, Remus?!"   
"What do I want?! What the hell are you doing up there? Jebus Crimmins nevermind I'm coming up!"  
"DON'T!"  
"...Roman?"

'You're scaring us, And all of us. Some of us love you, Achilles, it's not much but there's proof.'

"Roman God Dammit you've been missing for weeks and now I finally find you and you're standing at the edge of my roof like you've taken a page out of Suiciders Weekly!!!" Remus shouted, the knuckles on his hands gripping his ruffled tunic turning white.   
"And what, you care now that I've stopped entertaining you?!" The prince yelled back, wobbling dangerously on the rooftop.   
"You think that's why I've been looking this whole time? Roman you've got the whole Mind Palace in a shit storm greater than a hurricane tearing through a convention of sewer tank enthusiasts! Get the fuck down you absolute dickface!"  
Roman's laugh sounded like a razor blade scraping against a blackboard, and Remus instinctively winced at the mere comparison. "Janus has been looking for you!" The Duke yelled back at the grating noise, earning stunned silence. "So's Virgil! They've been tearing apart your kingdom from top to bottom like rabid raccoons with a piñata full of fresh garbage!"   
"Why'd you run, bro? What did they say to you in there?!" Thinking about that day, Remus remembered his twins face as the two walked into the twins bedroom, silently kicking the Duke out. What was it on his face? Fear? Anger? ...Sorrow?  
"Why do you care, remus?" Romans voice cracked on the word, he himself nearly crumbling off the roof, Remus startling forward a bit trying to predict where he would land. The Duke himself paused a bit at the question, trying his damnedest piece together the best response.   
"Because I just do, Roman! We all do!" He could see his twin scoff from there on the ground, the movement over dramatic but stilted and robotic. "Why would anyone care about me, about- about a messed up broken useless--!" The prince cut himself off, sobbing. Remus could only stare, his mind racing yet still and silent. 

'You crazy assed cosmonaut, Remember your virtue. Redemption lies plainly in truth.'

"What the hell are you talking about?! Useless?! You really think Thomas is gonna use my 'Eat Nothing But Onions For A Day' idea? I mean who even does that?!"  
That comment got a weak laugh from roman, barely audible to the Duke.   
"Thomas needs you Roman, we need you!" Remember all those times you thought of something that made the others smile? Or things that got us outta the hairy situations I got us into? What about all those times Thomas needed you to hype him up for his next big play, or even just to talk to a cute guy?"  
"But- but that wasn't just me remus! Everyone else had a hand in that. Everyone else can do my job just fine without me."   
"But that just can't be true! Do- do you think our Dear~ Daddy could ever hold a sword to a Chimera? Or that Valley-Of-The-Emo could ever talk to someone without you there to hype him up? What about Logan - logs? Who would he rant to about the historical inaccuracies with today's Shakespeare reenactments?!"  
Roman was silent during this rant, allowing Remus precious seconds to slowly lower the castle without the prince's knowledge.

'Just humour us Achilles. Achilles come down! Won't you get up off, Get up off the roof?'

"C'mon roman, just climb down so I don't have to strain my voice yelling at you, this falsetto quite draining, ya know?" Those words seemed to snap something back into Roman, and nothing good because he had stood up once more, a second wind of dangerous intentions.  
"What about all I've done to them? How could they ever forgive me? It's better if I had just- just given them about blank sheet to work with!"

'Achilles, Achilles! Achilles come down, won't you Get up off, Get up off the roof?'

"Humans make mistakes roman, even humanoid aspects of a Human's personality! So what if you've made mistakes, we all have! You think J-Anus is the picture of perfection? I know for goddamn sure you watched him spill pancake batter over Patton's head cause he used too much eggs!" Something cracked in Roman as the Duke rattled off things that the other sides had done, as he started to laugh hysterically and near maniacally.   
"And- and you really think all that can be fixed by just getting off this fucking roof?!" The prince laughed.  
"It's a start."

'The self is not so weightless, Nor whole and unbroken."

"You don't have to be perfect, Roman. You don't have to live up to these expectations that you've- that we've put on you! This- this ideal perfect creativity we used to be? It's gone! They've gone and we're here and we do dot have to be perfect duplications of what could have been!"  
"Are you reassuring me or convincing yourself?"

'Remember the pact of our youth? Where you go I'm going, So jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you.'

"Does it matter? Do you- do you even remember way back when-the-fuck-ever? How we had to draw lines in the sand just to make sure other people were happy? Haven't you noticed that recently, it just doesn't have to be like that anymore! We don't have to draw lines or take sides! Or- or do things or act certain ways because if we do we risk making them unhappy! Screw them! We are happy. Or, at least I want us to be, Roman.  
"You have people now. You have a family now that will listen, people that will care about you and your happiness! About--"  
"But they can't, Remus! They can't care because if they did- if they did care then why are they rubbing in my face how- how happy they all are without me?"

'Soldier on Achilles. Achilles come down! Won't you get up off, Get up off the roof?'

"How am I supposed to cope when the people I love most in this whole world have come to shove my face In the dirt that they're happy and I'm not? That even though- even though I've begged for forgiveness and pleaded for a lightening of this guilt I harbor so close to me…"  
"Roman…"  
"Why did it have to be them?! Why couldn't I have fallen in love with anyone but the two people to whom I've caused the most hurt and grievance?"

'Loathe the way they light candles in Rome, But love the sweet air of the votives.'

"Didn't you hear what I said earlier? They're out there tearing apart the Mind Palace and the whole of the imagination just looking for you. You really think they just came to torment you? That they're out there right now looking for you so that they can prove to you that you suck? The only thing you should be sucking is-"  
"Remus!"  
"My point is-! My point is- is that whatever you think they're thinking, you are soo~ wrong, bro. Like massively.  
"You need to get off this godforsaken roof and go marching into your castle all heroic-like like I know you like and swoon into their waiting arms."   
"I- I can't. .."

'Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone. Engage with the pain as a motive.'

"So- so that's it then. You're just gonna take a fucking swan dive off this roof like your an olympic gold medalist and the ground is fucking jello or something. With no idea or thought to what could have been- to what fucking is?! You've been sitting in this decaying, rotten castle moping and sulking and-and--"  
"'And' what, Remus?!"  
"And you're gonna leave me here all alone, to just tough it out? To be one half of something great? To deal with all this trauma by myself with nothing but my own fucking thoughts?!"  
"..."  
"You're better than this, roman! You deserve better than this. You owe it to yourself to have a better life and to be fucking happy for once! You deserve having people fight for your right to be happy- to have the people you love surround you in- in- I don't know fucking sunshine and happiness rays or some shit!"

'Today of all days, See How the most dangerous thing is to love. How you will heal and you'll rise above.'

"...Do you really think that's something I can have?"  
"Yes, Roman. I really fucking do."

'Achilles, Achilles, Achilles Jump now! You are absent of cause Or excuse.'

"Then… then why do I still hurt so much? I- I tried so hard but it wasn't good enough! I'm not good enough... "

'So self-indulgent And self-referential. No audience could ever want you.'

"I'm always in the way. I'm always causing problems and conflicts. Who's to say that I won't do it again just so that I can have the limelight? That I won't try to hog up the camera and the lights like I always do?!  
They hate me, Remus."  
"I literally just said they--"  
"It's not just them! The audience. .. the fans… they hate me, too. Tell me, what am I supposed to do about that? Am I supposed to just magically change all their minds?"  
"They don't-"  
"They don't what? Hate me? See me as the villain in this story? Of course they do, why else would they so openly critique me or bash me when I say something negatively to anyone else?"  
"So you admit they aren't being fair?"  
"I don't know what I'm saying, Remus!"

'You crave the applause,Yet hate the attention Then miss it, your act is a ruse.'

"Then who's telling you this, roman? Who is telling you right now that you've nothing better to do than to give it all up.  
People love you, bro. Haven't you seen what they've done for you, what masterpieces you yourself inspired them to create, just with your presence?"  
"I…"  
"You're letting yourself get caught up in the hate and the poison they've surrounded you in."  
"..."  
"Like dolphins passing around a bit o pufferfish."  
"Pfft. Way to ruin the moment."  
"It's what I do best."

'It is empty, Achilles, So end it all now. It's a pointless resistance For you."

"...it hurts remus."  
"I know it does."  
"Does it always feel this bad?"  
"It gets better."   
"How did you deal with this for so long?"  
"I had help. You do to, ya know?"  
"Mm?"

'Achilles, Achilles Just put down the bottle. Don't listen to what you've consumed. It's chaos, confusion, And wholly unworthy Of feeding, and it's wholly untrue.'

"Yeah, you got me, logie, papaya, the hot goth vampires, even Mr. Tommy-Lommy-Dingbat over there. How long do you think we've been searching for you? Ever since you disappeared, bro."  
"..."  
"I wanna be here for you, roman. Even if it's just to knock some sense into ya with extra gusto."  
"Pfft."

'You may feel no purpose, Nor a point for existing. It's all just conjecture and gloom. And there may not be meaning, So find one and seize it!  
Do not waste your self on this roof.'

"So, do you wanna come down now?"  
"No… not… I don't think so."  
"Well…. Have you found a reason to not be on the roof?"  
"Maybe? I… I think so."  
"It sucks, don't it? Feeling like everything's about to explode and yet fall into an infinite black hole which can tear you down to a singularity infinity through time."  
"You learn that one from Logan?"  
"Mayyybe~"  
"It's fun when he talks about stars, isn't it?  
"Have you told him that?"  
"No?"  
"There's always tomorrow to tell him."  
"Maybe."

'Hear those bells ring deep in the soul, Chiming away for a moment. Feel your breath course frankly below. See life as a worthy opponent.'

There was a faint call a fair bit aways from the rotting castle.   
"Remus? Is he there?!"   
"Was that…?"  
"Ol' snake charmer himself. Wanna go see him? Could probably clear some things up right quick!"  
"Who uses 'right quick' anymore?"  
"Probably zombies and like, really old people. So… wanna see him?"  
"I...I--"  
"Deep breathes, Ro - manic fanatic."  
"You're - you're bad at this."  
"...I know."

'Today of all days See How the most dangerous thing is to love. How you will heal and you'll rise above. Crowned by an overture bold and beyond! Ah, it's more courageous to overcome.'

The twins could see Janus cresting the first hill between him and them. Roman looked o with a besotted gaze as remus looked on with a knowing one.  
"He's gonna be here soon. Do you wanna come down now?"  
"I…. I think I want to."  
"Alright then just climb down a few steps and-- Christ- Roman!! Hang on!"

'You want the acclaim, The mother of mothers (it's not worth it Achilles).'

Hanging on by mere crumbling cinder blocks and patchy vines of ivy, Roman struggled with maintaining his balance over the edge of the roof.  
'You could just let go now…"  
"Roman!"  
'It'll be quick… painless almost."  
"Whatever you do, don't listen to it!"

'More poignant than fame Or the taste of another (don't listen Achilles). But be real and just jump, You dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles). You will not be more Than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat).'

Roman's grip lessened on the vines, causing him to slide down a foot or so before regaining his grip and struggling to get up again. The prince could hear someone running inside the decaying building, most presumably Remus…  
Then who was it that was calling his name from down below?  
"Roman! Hang on, please!"

'You want my opinion (no one asked your opinion), My opinion you've got. You asked for my counsel (no one asked for your thoughts), I gave you my thoughts.'

Remus had finally made it to the roof, but Roman was too far down to try and reach him. Still, the Duke stretched out his arm as far as it would go to reach his twin, but the prince remained just slightly out of grasp.   
"Remus!"  
"What?!"  
"Did you mean it?!"  
"What?!!"  
"Did you mean it, what you said earlier?!"  
"Of course!!"

'Be done with this now And jump off the roof!  
Can you hear me Achilles?  
I'm talking to you  
I'm talking to you  
I'm talking to you  
I'm talking to you.'

Looking around Remus spotted something that would definitely help.  
"Roman, do you trust me?!"  
"...With my Life!"  
"Then jump!"  
"What?!"  
"I though you said you trusted me!"   
"...Fine!!"  
Roman let go of the vines and stone.

'Achilles come down, Achilles come down. Throw yourself into the unknown  
With pace and a fury defiant.'

The wind whistling past his ears felt like knives against his skin. The prince had forced his eyes shut I the fall, and thus didn't know when he was about to hit the grown in about deadly *splat*. But he no longer felt like this was out his control, and felt strangely confident in not only himself but I his brother, the one whom he had neglected for so long.

'Clothe yourself in beauty untold And see life as a means to a triumph.'

It was as if time had slowed down,and silky cloths had enveloped Romans falling form like a warm blanket. Soon too, did a warm embrace hold the prince as several arms wrapped around him.

'Today of all days See How the most dangerous thing is to love. How you will heal and you'll rise above. Crowned by an overture bold and beyond! Ah, it's more courageous to overcome.'

"Hello, my Prince."


End file.
